Its happening. To me. I thought it wouldn't. I would have bet against it. Its still 6 weeks away. I still have 6 weeks. She's amazing. She's awesome. How can I possibly leave her in 6 weeks. Drop her off for someone else to watch her, teach her, take care of her. Someone else to hug her when she gets sad, someone else to snuggle her. How am I going to do it?

In all honestly, I thought I was going to be one of those Mom's that was going to be like, "Yeah, its cool." I didn't think it would hit me like this. I counted the weeks until I return and after the number hit me, I looked at those beautiful blues, hugged her and thought how am I ever going to do this?

I was never excited to be going back to work but I never thought I would want to be a stay-at-home Mom either. BUT I wouldn't say thats exactly what I want either. I know that I need to go back to work and thats reality. That's what I keep saying to others -- maybe its because I am subconsciuously terrified to go back. If I say it enough times out loud maybe internally I will feel that way. Check that, not going to happen.I am going to cry on my way to work. I will probably cry on my way home from work and barely sleep because I will be dying to see her. I do get to ease back into work. I go in for two nights then its a long weekend. A long weekend away to Montreal to visit family...