With a heavy heart, I type this blog. Baby D passed on Monday. I cannot imagine the pain in those of the lives he touched. Even though he was only a week old he will forever have an impact in those lives. For his precious Mother that carried him for 9 months she will be forever changed. Every expecting parents that go into the hospital on delivery day deserve to go home with baby after. I can't stop thinking about them. I am responding to Madelyn so much faster after hearing the news yesterday, we both are. Maybe its because I am a Mom now and I am holding a precious life in my hands and I wonder "How did I get so lucky?" I know you can't go through life thinking that and you have to live each day to its full potential and breath in and out. There is a bigger picture than just today, its trying to see it thats hard sometimes. Did I just contradict myself? You have to live each day but there's a bigger picture? Life, it takes us on some unexpected roads.

I'm hugging my healthy baby a little tighter today. Last night Nick and I were reminded of how lucky we are to have had a healthy baby. Sure, my labour was a little rough near the end and we were in a "HAVE TO GET HER OUT" state and the vacuum was used... but once that baby was out and healthy all that seemed forgotten, to me anyways. Nick reminded me of how scared he was when they told us her heart rate was dropping and it was very clear that he hasn't forgotten. I look back at my labour through a blurry, blissful vision. Completely disregarding how important and scary her heart rate dropping actually was. Its crazy how your memories can become a little distorted from reality. To make it better than it really was. However, my labour was nothing like a good friends of ours their sister just went through. Her little baby is in the NICU and we are not sure what's going to happen. Babies are little miracles and its amazing what they are capable of pulling through. I will be praying her little baby makes a full recovery.

 

Updated Family Photo... more to come!

The weekend is here, and since the hubby is away its just me and my girl. And so far so good. She got up at 230am... ugh I know but ate and went back down. Got back up at 6am so I fed her and we cuddled and took a little nap in Mommy and Daddy's bed. Those moments are so precious and few. We got up at 8am and had some breakfast. I have showered and I am almost ready for our busy day today. Madelyn went down for her morning nap without a hitch. I just don't understand how one day is so different from the next?

We have E's big 1st birthday party this afternoon so I am hoping the sun stays out. I am not wondering if she needs to wear a hat or not? Decisions, decisions! I think I have her outfit picked out its just a matter of whether it will be warm enough or not. And shoes... I just don't like putting shoes on her, especially since she isn't walking.

I am also looking forward to getting our pictures!! SUPER YEAH :) I pick them up after spending some time at the party. I will be off to pick up Auntie C. and then off to Guelph to get them... then some paint picking out. Need to get the paint for Uncle T. so he can paint Madelyn's room on Monday... You do not understand how happy I am that I do not have to paint her room and someone else gets too! LOL I dispise painting. I loath it, really.

Well, I should pack her bag for the day. Find what I am going to wear, ugh (I am totally not a fashionista) and finish my second Mocha of the day... and its only 11am... here we go!

Tough love is heartbreaking. I am angry. I am sad. I am drinking my tea while my baby is finally napping. The last couple of days she has not wanted to go down for her morning nap. Back track, Madelyn was consistently going down after being awake for 2 hours. Usually very easily. Last couple of days not so much. Crying, not wanting to go down. So today I thought, fine. I'll let you stay up longer and see if that makes it easier. Nope. Same battle. Day 3. She would fall asleep in my arms only to wake when I laid her down, then comes the screaming. After the second fall asleep in my arms into the crib attempt. I walked out of her room. I came downstairs started the kettle. I could hear her screaming but this time I was giving her 8 minutes. If she was still screaming in 8 minutes I would go to her. As the kettled boiled and I filled my cup, the anger inside of me was building with every tormented scream coming from the monitor. The minutes felt like hours. This started at 9:52am so she had until 10:00am and I was going to go rescue her. By 9:55am there was a big sigh and by 9:57am I heard nothing. She had cried herself to sleep. Ugh. I could cry typing that sentence. I feel awful. I've felt the need to blog about it. Other friends of mine have done the same technique and I have always encouraged them and told them they were doing a great job. Why don't I feel the same way about myself? There's that Mommy Self-Doubt. Always wondering, guess it never goes away even when I start think I am doing a great job -- it finds a way to creep back into my mind.

Swimming registration was accomplished this morning! As we now have a pool in the backyard its going to vital that my Pooper can swim. Not going to lie, I am a little bit nervous of all the responsibily re: a pool. I am thankful that there are two doors you have to go through to get to the pool area. There will be "Pool Rules" that unfortunately will stricly be in place. I don't want a let a rule slide then someone get hurt. I sound like a paranoid freak but really, this is my forever home. I don't want to have to move because of an accident. How could I ever live there if something happened. Okay enough about my paranoid pool thoughts... onto my babe!!

 

The exciting look on her face makes this entire stage priceless. Madelyn is doing awesome crawling. She can even crawl now on laminate or hard wood. Its only a matter of time before she is crawling at super speeds. She has even started pulling herself up on things. She's going to be "cruising" soon!! Here she is pulling herself up in her crib.

 

The look of "What Mom? Can't you do this?" makes me laugh. Once we move we have to figure out how to lower the crib to the lowest possible setting! Like I've said before, and will continue to forever say

She is getting big way, way , way too fast!

Here they are!! I am so happy with how they turned out :-) I wish I had these when she was born then lots of the clothes she has would have been worn. I know that must sound bad, if you bought her something, I swear she wore it...

The weather was supposed to be sunny. I've started the stripping my diapers process and I was expecting to hang them to dry on the line. I am disappointed that the sun is not beaming through into my backyard. Ugh. Yes, UGH. I may hang them anyways, its not supposed to rain. Its quite a process, stripping my diapers. Thank goodness for this blog

Canadian Cloth Diaper Stores: Stripping Diapers - No Pole Necessary: "Stripping Diapers..... *ack* what does that mean??? How much work is that going to entail?! YIKES! Well, thankfully, it is a lot simpler..."

I've had it up on my screen following it step by step. I just put them in with the dish soap and I am waiting to run down to the machine and do another cold cycle. If cloth diapering wasn't this easy I would never have thought to even do it. I know I have mentioned this before, in my previous cloth diapering momma post but seriously. Why don't more people do it? Even if people didn't want to wash them themselves, do the diaper service! Its STILL cheaper than disposables and soooo much better for the environment and your little ones bum. Alright. Enough about that.

I haven't mentioned that we did our family photos a couple weeks back. Our amazing friend photographer, Chelsey posted these on her blog. Here is the link...
http://www.chelseykaephotography.com/2010/09/little-miss-madelyn-is-7-months-old/
(Sorry I totally suck at making the links just a hit and go...ARGH)
I cannot wait to see the CD when she is finished!! Thats just a sneak peak and those are her favourites. I'm sure I will have a few favs of my own.

What else is going on? Well, she is sleeping through the night but the last couple of nights she has decided to wake up before 6am. So I've given her a bottle and back to bed and she gets back up by 7:30 am. That I can handle -- 6am not so much. She is napping really well too - this morning was a bit of a struggle to go down but she's down and out now as I type this and wait patiently on my diapers. Err, her diapers. LOL

Is summer officially over now that Labour Day weekend has come and gone? Madelyn's first summer has flown by. She is now crawling!! On Saturday Sept 4th we were at a family gathering and there she was crawling on the carpet. Now its not super fast but she is definately pulling her legs and balancing on her arms. I think if we had carpet here she'd be a pro at it. Scary really to have your 7 month old crawling around!

She is doing awesome with the sleeping too... have we finally made a breakthru? Well, she is waking from her morning nap, alittle earlier than expected but she sounds happy so its time to go get her! Awww LOVE... she is amazing!!

I should mention that this blog was started yesterday and I have been super lazy with uploading the pictures but I really wanted to add these to this blog...

What a week so far! We got the house ;) We took my parents through last night and we couldn't be happier. I can't believe we get it in 2 weeks. Yikes!

Madelyn is practicly crawling.

I am not exaggerating at all. She can pull herself up on all fours and rock, do the worm, sit up from her tummy and just yesterday on carpet she started to move her legs forward. Its a matter of days, maybe a week before I am going to be on constant watch. I've really enjoyed the sitting stage. You put her on her playmate turn around for a second to get something and when you look back she is still there... not anymore! After breakfast every morning I let her play on her mat, while I drink my mocha, read e-mails, catch up on my mommy forum and check Facebook. Now its becoming look at the computer for a second then watch her. It was amazing this morning. I really let her go, see how she would do and where she would manage herself. Well, lets just say she didn't stay on her mats.

Its only going to be a matter of time before she pulls herself up on those chairs.


We also had our last summer swimming lesson last night. Here are just two pictures.

Madelyn couldn't be happier swimming. Even when we dunk her under water she does awesome. I even have her on video but Nick isn't quite sure he wants me to share everything on the internet. I think I understand, so for now it stays private. I'm trying to share everything about her with this blog but I guess some things should just stay in our world instead of the www. world.

Well, I am signing off as I have a few things to get done before we go check out a possible daycare. I cannot believe I am now looking for daycare! Oh and its my birthday weekend so hopefully I will be busy... update on Monday :)