Madelyn's 1st Hallowe'en!

Tomorrow it is -- Hallowe'en. A "holiday" that I am not overly fond of, but I think I am getting in the spirit. I can't wait to see her all dressed up in her cute (its a surprise!) outfit. I hope she doesn't hate it too much. Its so typical, right, to get all excited about a costume then to have your kid scream the entire time they are in it. Fingers crossed for us!! I will post pictures next week, maybe on Monday. Tomorrow is a crazy busy day for us. Wish us luck!

30 Days of Honesty

Day 2: Something you love about yourself.

Okay, something even tougher. I think I love that I am honest. The one thing people can always depend on I think is my honesty. It can be harsh and many times I will try to soften the honesty... Oh geesh. I love my honesty? I think I said in the last post I sometimes hate it! BUT in all honesty, I like that I am that person for people. I don't like bullshit or fakeness. And I am happy to say that I don't think I am ever fake towards people. Sometimes I wish I could be, but its just not me. And I think I love that about myself.

30 Days of Honesty

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Wow. Just. One. Thing. I don't think I can name just one thing. That's kind of sad isn't it? I hate my body image. I hate going to my closet and not being able to put something trendy together because I feel like I'll just look fat anyways? Horrible. I know. And to think I was doing this in a bigger way for Madelyn to get to know who I was/am. Do I really want my daughter to have the same body images as me! Heck no. I hate that I am a pessimistic/realist CONSTANTLY. Something is always going wrong or bad. Like, really? Did I just say that? I hate that I can be an angry, selfish person. I hate that I am too honest with people sometimes. Maybe it would be best to not say anything at all -- even when people want the truth. I hate how I look in a pair of jeans. I hate that I am intimidated to go out with a bunch of girls (many of whom I don't know) I hate that sometimes I care too much about people who don't seem to care as much about me. I hate that I am not always so nice to my loving husband, who for some reason still loves me. I hate that I think this way. Wow. I hate, maybe I hate me? Is that at all possible? Yikes! Scary really.

30 Days of Complete Honest (AKA 30 Days of Truth)

Okay... here goes a little something for me. I feel like it would an important thing for Madelyn to look back on this and read this. After all, I feel as though I am a very honest and straightforward person with everyone else... lets see if I can be this honest with myself. (I am a new blogger and not good at the whole blogger thing so I hope I can figure out how to put all these posts together!)

Over the next 30 Days I will be answering these questions:
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I have tried to add the link to where I got these questions from but like I said on her blog... I am a cyber idiot! Seriously, when did I become so out of touch with how the internet and computers work? ARGH!!!

 

 

We went to Strom's on Saturday afternoon for some pumpkin picking and a tractor ride. It was so nice to get out as a family. It doesn't happen nearly has much as I would like. Life is crazy busy but every now and then we need to stop and slow down and enjoy a tractor ride. I hope you enjoy the pictures!

I've had the best two afternoon naps Monday and Tuesday. A cute little baby sleeping peacefully in my arms. Breathing deeply, giving the odd sigh.

I realize those days are almost over. I mean, to be completely honest her naps were barely an hour, mind you she did wake up happy but if she were to have slept in her crib it would have been longer. I can admit, I was selfish. I needed those two naps with her to remind of the baby I am losing and the little person I am gaining.

When she would only sleep in my arms I couldn't wait for her to nap in her crib. Now that she wants to nap in her crib I just want to hold her. I just want to take in the sleeping baby that needs me. That needs me to hold her to sleep and to feel safe.

I know she is becoming her own little person and I have a perma smile on my face watching her crawl, pull herself up, cruise to get the remote, stand on her own and then fall on her bum. Its amazing to watch her grow up, but heart-wrenching at the same time. I can lay her in her crib and she will slip peacefully into sleep. I know I need to continue what I am doing and its obviously working but I sometimes the urge to just cuddle and rock her to sleep is so strong. To watch her eyes drift into sleep and get that big sigh before being really asleep is so precious. A gift that I was given and now I know I need to be more realistic and let her go a little. I mean, deep down I know she will always need me but eventually that voice is going to come and its going to be loud and clear and I will not be ready for it "Mom I can do it myself." I am dreading the growing up. Its really hitting me now. I know its because she is making so much progress and growing up exactly how she is supposed to be, but really? I want to have this baby forever. I know, back to reality.

 

All ready to go play for Baby E's birthday party!

 

Learning to "High Five!" - Daddy definately taught her this one.

 

There it is! See piece of cake :-)

 

Here's the shrieking

 

Open, Close, Open, Close, repeat...over and over and over...

 

Hang on to the couch! Mommy's not ready for you to take steps yet...

Is it bad that I can't wait for October to be over? We have just been go-go-go-go... for way too long now! Geeesh, I'd like to just say that Madelyn now has 2 - YES TWO - teeth on the bottom and since I have been horrible at keeping up with the blog in the last month, I may or may not have already mentioned that. And this entire next paragraph may be a repeat but here goes...

On Oct 2 (My Dad's birthday) we were at my parents home for a family birthday dinner and my Mom felt into Madelyn's mouth and proclaimed that a tooth was coming... yeah right. I don't feel anything, I don't have a clue what I am feelign for. Yeah I feel a little bump but whatever, we haven't had the sleepless nights, the crying bouts, you know, the typical teething stuff. (honest: the thing was that the week prior she was hard to put down to bed, she would fight like she's never fought before and she may or may not have woken up a couple of times at night but just letting out a little cry, nothing to go running to her or even console her over) Sure enough, I woke up on Oct 3 and bam... sharp, sharp, sharp! It was there. The bottom left toofie was poking through. I am forever a skeptic. I know I have mentioned her amber teething necklace before but Nick and I refuse to take it off and tempt fate. If its working awesome, if she's just a baby that it wouldn't bother too much - we've got one tough cookie on our hands. And that would make Daddy super proud! But seriously, I get it all the time with the amber necklace. Most people think its just jewelery that I've put on her. And time and time again, I am saying actually its a teething necklace and go into my speal... Most times, especially if I don't really know the person commenting I just nod. Yup, it is nice jewelery.

I know I have been promising pictures. I am going to go get my memory card as soon as I am done typing this and upload some new shots of her. She is just changing so much everyday. Nick and I will look back at pictures and really say "Do you believe its the same baby?" She's such a little person now. I think the cruising around and crawling has really made me see that. Plus, the 3 solid meals a day and the "talking" (I use talking loosely as it really sounds like shrieking). She is truely become her own person. I cannot wait to see what she turns into.

Okay... I am going to go get that memory card right now...after I finish my 1/2 coffee 1/2 hot chocolate... promise this time! I swear...

Here I am! I haven't gone far. Just been super busy and avoiding my laptop.

Madelyn now has two teeth poking thru. She is just doing awesome thru it all too. You wouldn't even know she was teething. I honestly think the teething necklace must work http://canadianamber.ca/caramel-circle-inches-p-66.html?osCsid=9afcf062e10c8379714c77946b0ecf1f I am forever a skeptic and I won't say it works 100%, because really what does? But this seems to be working and we don't dare tempt fate and take it off.

She starting to cruise around now... S-C-A-R-Y! Seriously, kiddo your only 8 months old. (insert a LOL with a grimace face) Madelyn loves the activity toy her Gramps gave her http://www.toysrus.ca/product/largerImage.jsp?productId=4193376&largeImageURL=http%3a%2f%2fTRUSCA.imageg.net%2fgraphics%2fproduct_images%2fpTRUCA1-7830265dt.jpg&imageIndex=0 We just have to sit her with while she uses it so she doesn't smack her face. Its not very stable on the hardwood floors. Once I get my pictures uploaded I will post few.. as you can see I am bit behind lately. I think its the whole moving and trying to organized and when its time to relax the computer isn't where I head first. Probably because there's no t.v. in that room and our PVR is on overload. Be back soon! I PROMISE

I know I have been neglecting my blog. Its not entirely my fault. Okay, maybe it but I can blame it on the internet. The wireless internet does not work very well so its a pain to go plug in to the main source and take an hour out of the day to type it out. BUT here I am - plugged back in.

We have been so busy with the move. Trying to get organized with a crawling Pooper is IN-SANE! I should say insanity! And once she goes for a nap the last thing I want to go is unpack a box. My kitchen is set up, her bedroom and the family room. Those are the only rooms you need right? Who cares the the office is stacked with boxes -- do we really need the stuff in them? I know, I need to get to them, I really don't want my house to look like a Hoarders home. That would be sick and gross.

On to what really makes me smile. Madelyn is a crawling machine and is now starting to straighten her back when you try to sit her down or put her in the jumper/excersaucer. She just wants to be on the move or in our arms climbing us. Its way too cute but honestly, Mommy needs sometime to sweep the floor (and drink a mocha in the morning). Life is just getting better and better with her. She is too cute for words and that smile she gives you when you drag her away on the hardwood floors on her belly pulling her away from the entertainment unit is so adorable. It becomes a fun little game for both of us.